Naming events without drowning the warehouse

A warehouse drowns in two ways. Either every click becomes an event, or every team invents a synonym for the same click. App Analytics vendors will happily ingest both. They will not tell you that cta_tap, hero_clicked, and primary_button are the same political object wearing three hats.

The Event Grammar we teach is dull on purpose. Verb plus object. Properties carry the variation. Marketing adjectives stay in the campaign tool. If a name would embarrass you in a board pack, it is probably a UI nickname, not a measurement noun.

We keep a freeze list. Hover is on it. Impression is on it until someone writes a definition that a QA engineer can test. “Engagement” is on it forever. Students in Event Taxonomy Studio hate the freeze list in week two and quote it in week six.

Deprecation is part of naming. If you add checkout_committed, you must date the death of order_funnel_step4. Leaving both alive is how a lake becomes folklore. The warehouse is not a museum. It is a working language, and languages need editors.

The public rules sit on The Event Grammar. The bruising version is the studio.